Dear Amma, Thatha, Acchi, Acchi, and Seeya,
(mom, dad, grandma, grandma, and grandpa)
There is so much I need to tell you and I don’t even know where to begin. These past few days have somehow merged into a seamless montage of movements and moments that I’ve been having trouble recalling when one day ends and a new one starts. It is a busy flow with classes in the mornings, filming in the afternoon, editing in the evening followed by group meetings that continue well into the night as we brainstorm and structure our final video projects. There is a slight shift in the atmosphere that I think we all feel as our time in South Africa transitions from the slower starry eyed wonder of exploring the land into the starry eyed – slightly more on edge – wonder of filmmaking.
I’ve been really enjoying officially learning about how to capture a story through a digital camera. I know you’ve seen my quite humorous attempts back at home as I try to follow YouTube tutorials using just my handphone and the random outdated software on our desktop computer (and I sincerely hope those clips never see the light of day) but I fondly remember how much fun we all had whenever I wanted to try something new and you all became my wonderful actors and actresses. It’s almost bewildering to see how that compares to the sophisticated technology I’ve been able to use these past few weeks. I am almost afraid at times to meddle with the buttons because of how extraordinary (and of course expensive) each piece of equipment feels – especially in my quite untrained hands. The intentionality of the stories and messages we are trying to convey also has transcended into the ways in which I am interacting with the mechanics of filmmaking. There is still so much I am unfamiliar with but for the first time I feel as if the technical jargon is finally making sense as what I see through the lens reflect what I had intended in my mind.
There’s also been a sense of nostalgic familiarity for me while filming my friends and helping each other with the lighting/setting up. Do you remember how one of my favorite things to do before I went off to college was making home videos with both malila (my younger brothers) at home? It’s been so long since I’ve gotten to make anything with them and even just filming my roommate this past Sunday brought me back memories of running after then six-year-old Marlon with a camera as I filmed his first superhero film (he was the leading actor of course).
Something else that has been on my mind since the day I arrived here is how grateful I am to be alive during a time where I am able to capture what my eyes perceive through the machinery of a camera. Sure I can try to read again and again about the technicality of how a camera works with words like refraction, chemical records, and bouncing light but I will never truly comprehend just how remarkable it is that we are able to freeze a moment of existence as if it is a physical object instead of a transient and fleeting piece of time. Blows my mind every time I try to think about it.
I know that the thousands of photos I take will never truly fully capture the all-encompassing sensory-stimulating feeling of a moment but it’s comforting nonetheless to be able to share a slice of this experience with you. Whenever I come across an opportunity to travel to a new place, there is still a sense of guilt (not sure if this is the right word) within me knowing that all of you have never gotten a similar opportunity. I can’t wait for the day when I can see your eyes light up in astonishment no longer just when we are sitting side-by-side on the couch whilst I swipe through photos on my phone but when you’re standing besides me experiencing the wonder firsthand together. Though I desperately want to share the sounds and smells and tastes of this new land with you, I am content that at least for now I can capture the sights through my lens for you.
I have to finish editing a film assignment due tomorrow so I need to go but I promise I will continue telling you more about everything another time. I haven’t even gotten to tell you about my thoughts on beautiful and oh-so complex South Africa yet. Love and miss you all.
Duwa
(daughter)
